If you've never heard of Clients From Hell (the website or the book) they're a curated compilation of anonymous quotes, quips and comments from real clients by their designers, shared with the world for the amusement of other designers.
"For some reason I am not able to attach the 3’x8’ signs to the email, to send it off to be printed. Is there any way that you can change it to be ‘KB’, instead of ‘MB’? The ‘KB’ ones always seem to work better for me."
CLIENT: “This isn’t a criticism, but I wanted to point it out.”
ME: “Okay… what’s the problem.”
CLIENT: “This business card you designed for me is upside down.”
"Whenever I have any extra cash, I buy Vitamins, Protein Powder and Graphic Design. In that order."
The book is great. It's a portable paper version of the website you can keep next to your computer for a chuckle, or as a reminder of how great your own clients are.